BRAIN DAMAGE INC.

7 Secrets of Happy Couples

<div style="text-align: center;"><h1>7 Secrets of Happy Couples 
- <a href="http://blog.dreamthisday.com/2009/02/7-secrets-of-happy-couples.html#post">Jonathan Lockwood Huie</a></h1></div>   
<div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihGBfImp_Vu8FM14gcyYu6jYmCegKYxjeU2GPq-Ku5l1Z6F0qJ4i9z8EFcGasZViqk33t4eJ8UtHTwDJGSHi6_ZWUQKSscObR8_5-E-AiTqDtP0skVp4qBEr8Bujo6H7dbOHMWwTXdZFU/s1600-h/Love-Couple-In-The-Night-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihGBfImp_Vu8FM14gcyYu6jYmCegKYxjeU2GPq-Ku5l1Z6F0qJ4i9z8EFcGasZViqk33t4eJ8UtHTwDJGSHi6_ZWUQKSscObR8_5-E-AiTqDtP0skVp4qBEr8Bujo6H7dbOHMWwTXdZFU/s320/Love-Couple-In-The-Night-1.jpg" /></a>Why do some couples stay happy together for a lifetime, while others are in conflict almost from the beginning? 
 
 
 Part of the answer is compatibility - making the initial choice of a partner with whom you share common values. Equally much, however, depends upon the choices each partner chooses to make during the relationship.</div>   
Here are seven choices made by happy couples: 
 
  
<div style="text-align: justify;">1. Trust: Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship. If the other is going to cheat or otherwise dishonor the relationship, suspicion and jealousy will not prevent it, and such a relationship is fatally flawed in any case. Unwarranted suspicion and jealousy create misery in a surprising number of relationships. If you want to live happily, trust your partner completely. If they dishonor your trust, deal with the situation then. In the meanwhile, you will have been happy. 
 
2. Open Communication: Tell the truth, tell the whole truth. If you didn't want to share your whole life with your partner, why are you together? If you make a mistake, admit it. If you have doubts, talk about them. Secrets and lies kill a relationship. With truth and openness anything is possible. Even if something is unforgivable, it is better to deal with it quickly. 
 
3. Honoring the other's point-of-view: People disagree, couples disagree. Understanding that the two partners in a couple remain individuals is crucial to a happy relationship. Why would you expect that you and your partner should agree on everything? Honor that one of you is a Republican and the other a Democrat. Honor that one of you is a vegetarian and the other loves a great steak. 
 
4. Self-Confidence: Co-dependence is another frequent cause of failed relationships. Happy couples know that they don't need each other. Each partner is a completely whole and valid individual who has entered into a voluntary partnership. Neither "owns" the other, nor "can't live without" the other. Each has their own interests and friends, as well as having mutual interests and friends. 
 
5. Generosity: Greed and selfishness kill relationships. True love is generous in spirit. Mostly, generosity is not about material things, although that is also important. To have a happy relationship, be generous of your time, your love, and your attention. 
 
6. Forgiveness: Resentments and thoughts of revenge and vengeance have no place in a happy relationship. Happy couples forgive each other completely for everything the other has ever done or failed to do - no exceptions. 
 
7. Gratitude: Happy couples are continuously grateful for each other. Every day there are a myriad of reasons to be grateful for your partner. Find those reasons each day, and thank your partner every day.</div>

7 Secrets of Happy Couples

7 Secrets of Happy Couples - Jonathan Lockwood Huie Why do some couples stay happy together for a lifetime, while others are in conflic...

Stop Anger Before It Stops You - 7 Secrets

<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><div style="color: red; text-align: center;">Stop Anger Before It Stops You - 7 Secrets </div><div style="text-align: center;">- <a href="http://blog.dreamthisday.com/2009/01/stop-anger-before-it-stops-you-7.html#post">Jonathan Lockwood Huie</a> 
 
</div></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote><div class="just"></div></blockquote></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_McZSsMbe4ZY/S3MSNT9-uDI/AAAAAAAACUU/3n39ZmeK7Uo/s1600-h/anger1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_McZSsMbe4ZY/S3MSNT9-uDI/AAAAAAAACUU/3n39ZmeK7Uo/s320/anger1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Anger is something that each one of us has experienced - some of us only occasionally, some almost daily. Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not. We will always have expectations, and those expectations will often be unmet. Disappointment is the principle cause of anger. When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame. Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger. Anger is always directed at someone - possibly God or the non-specific they, but some animate entity. 
 
You've told yourself a hundred times that you aren't going to get angry - really angry - ever again, but wham, you start to feel that telltale heat, locked shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breathing. Someone has just done something really awful and you are angry at them. What now? 
<blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"></div></blockquote>Here are my 7 Secrets to Stop Anger before It Stops You:</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> 
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">1. Recognize when you are angry: It may not immediately occur to you that you are angry. You know that you have been wronged, and you can see everyone around you take a step back, but especially if you are really angry, it may take a while to gain the clarity to acknowledge your anger. Anger clouds perception and thinking, so make a special effort to spot it early and put it into words, "I am angry." 
 
2. Breathe deeply: Concentrate on taking slow deep breaths. Sometimes this is all it takes to break out of anger and gain clarity on the issue. At other times, breathing deeply is just a beginning, but it paves the way for the rest of the secrets. 
 
3. Focus your anger: Get clear what you are angry about and who you are angry at. Talk to yourself, "I am angry at Joe because he ..." Don't let your anger expand onto innocent bystanders, especially those trying to help calm you down. Don't refocus your anger onto everything that Joe has ever done or failed to do. 
 
4. Remember that you are in charge: Anger is an expression of frustration and helplessness. Remember that you always have options - you can design your own life. No one can steal your happiness - unless you let them. 
 
5. Look for the silver lining: There is a silver lining to every disappointment. Your boss fired you and you are furious. Probably it was a blessing. Now you have the opportunity to get a better job that you really enjoy. 
 
6. Consider forgiveness: Angry and happy don't mix. Flush out the angry, and the happy has a place to put down roots. Forgive everyone for everything in order to give anger and resentment a chance to fade. Forgive and you can become happy. Forgiving is not a gift to someone else - Forgiving is our gift to ourselves - a great gift - the gift of happiness. 
 
7. Accept that Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair": Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be. Demanding that life meet our expectations is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence. Life is a game with no rules. Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions. To choose happiness, be open to receiving whatever life throws at you - with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.</div>

Stop Anger Before It Stops You - 7 Secrets

Stop Anger Before It Stops You - 7 Secrets - Jonathan Lockwood Huie Anger is something that each one of us has experienced - some of us ...

Choose Your Habits, Choose Your Life - 5 Secrets For Breaking Your Bad Habits

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<h1>Choose Your Habits, Choose Your Life - 5 Secrets For Breaking Your Bad Habits<a href="http://blog.dreamthisday.com/2009/01/choose-your-habits-choose-your-life-5.html#post"></a><a href="http://blog.dreamthisday.com/2009/01/choose-your-habits-choose-your-life-5.html#post"> 
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie</a> </h1></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_McZSsMbe4ZY/S3MMUy5GUrI/AAAAAAAACUM/wVJ4tRuHBiU/s1600-h/cigarette.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_McZSsMbe4ZY/S3MMUy5GUrI/AAAAAAAACUM/wVJ4tRuHBiU/s320/cigarette.jpg" /></a> 
By nature, we are all creatures of habit. We instinctively adopt familiar routines for most activities. We eat about the same number of meals each day - at more or less the same times. We have a regular pattern of sleeping - unless it is perturbed by illness or shift work. Most everything we do is habitual. 
 
You probably eat three meals each day, but why? Why not two or five? There is nothing particularly "natural" about our pattern of eating three meals each day - it is just a habit that we share with most of those around us. Actually, a number of studies indicate that eating five smaller meals is more satisfying and healthier than eating three large ones. 
 
You will always have habits - things you do regularly and without conscious thought - but you do have the ability to CHOOSE your habits. Here's how... 
 
 
<div style="text-align: justify;">1. Begin to pay attention to WHAT you do, WHEN you do it, and WHY you do it. One of the bad habits I fell into was eating a large dish of ice cream in the late evening. Obviously, "ice cream" was the "what," but the "when" was more than just "in the evening." "When" was times I felt stressed, hadn't had a satisfying dinner, or was bored. "Why" was mouth sensation, having something to do with my hands, and sometimes hunger. 
 
 2. Keep a journal of the "what", "when," and "why." Make an entry whenever you find yourself doing something that isn't really your choice. You will find that you gain better insight into the "when's" and "why's" as you get more entries in your journal. Soon a pattern will emerge that can enable you to find healthy habits to replace the harmful ones. 
 
 3. Look for other activities that would satisfy the "when" and "why." A hot bath for stress, hard candy for mouth sensation, a good book for activity, a warm bowl of soup for real hunger. 
 
 4. Make the undesirable activity difficult. Don't keep the cigarettes or ice cream in the house. When ice cream was in my own freezer, it was hard to resist, but when eating a dish of super chocolate chunk required a trip to the convenience store, it was much easier to turn my attention to other activities and a low calorie snack - if any snack at all. 
 
 5. Begin new habits not only because you need them to replace unhealthy ones, but also because they are the things you always wanted to do, but couldn't find the time or money. That book club or yoga class makes a great substitute for the eating or smoking, and you can more than pay for your health club membership with what you save on cigarettes. </div></div>

Choose Your Habits, Choose Your Life - 5 Secrets For Breaking Your Bad Habits

Choose Your Habits, Choose Your Life - 5 Secrets For Breaking Your Bad Habits - Jonathan Lockwood Huie By nature, we are all creatures o...

Say NO to Stress: 8 Easy and Powerful Ways

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<h1>Less Stress - More Joy - Making Healthy Choices 
- <a href="http://blog.dreamthisday.com/2008/12/less-stress-more-joy-making-healthy.html">Jonathan Lockwood Huie</a></h1></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_McZSsMbe4ZY/S3MGduE0qzI/AAAAAAAACTs/ZEjPG-acx14/s1600-h/957a3641675bad3d9e431501122ef4ae2e0a411b.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_McZSsMbe4ZY/S3MGduE0qzI/AAAAAAAACTs/ZEjPG-acx14/s320/957a3641675bad3d9e431501122ef4ae2e0a411b.jpeg" width="320" /></a> 
Stress is to your emotional health as junk food is to your physical health. You need a certain amount of food to sustain your life, but overeating and eating the wrong foods are unhealthy and sometimes dangerous. 
 
As you need food to live, you also need a certain amount of emotional stimulation, but unless you choose to live alone far from the reaches of civilization, you are bombarded daily with innumerable stressors (agents, conditions, or other stimuli that cause stress). You hear the daily woes of friends and family. Your job and your daily commute are filled with agitation. Just a few minutes of the 11 o'clock news provides far more than your daily requirement of emotional stimulation. 
 
What to do? 
 
 
<div style="text-align: justify;">1. Simplify your needs: Much of our stress is due to what we believe we need to have. Actually, we need very little - food, a roof over our head, companionship. The rest is all perceived need that causes stress. As a crazy, but everyday example, we get stressed that we don't have the money to finance a relaxing vacation trip. Suppose we just relaxed every day knowing that we don't need luxuries. 
 
 2. Simplify your obligations: Practice saying "NO." No, I won't babysit your parakeet. No, I won't work a double shift Sunday. No, I won't chair the fundraising drive. There is actually almost nothing that you must do. Everything in life is a choice. Break the habit of assuming that you need to do everything you are asked to do. 
 
 3. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen: Usually the worst isn't really so bad. For example, the worst your boss can ever do is to fire you, and if you hate your job, that would be a blessing in disguise. 
 
 4. Don't be demanding: You ask someone to do something, they don't do it, and you get upset - raising your stress level. Suppose you asked less of other people? Your stress level would go way down. For example, you want your teenagers to keep their rooms tidy. For them, a structured living space is not a priority. Ask yourself whether exerting your control is worth the high stress level that it causes you. 
 
 5. Mentally, prepare for failures: Your boss WILL be critical of your work. Your cell phone and computer WILL fail. The stock market WILL drop. There WILL be another terrorist attack or war. It is just life. If you are mentally prepared, you won't be surprised or get stressed when the inevitable happens. 
 
 6. Mind your own business: Many of us get upset - and stressed - over the actions of others that are really none of our business. The lifestyle of others is NOT our business. Whether your adult son or daughter has a job, whether they married the "wrong" partner, whether your neighbor recycles, whether the man down the street watches adult movies or his wife is having an affair - these are NOT our business. Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be. Demanding that life meet our expectations is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence. Life is a game with no rules. Have NO Expectations of life. Stay in your own business and lower your stress. 
 
 7. Be grateful for what you have: Each of us has been infinitely blessed - beginning with the gift of life. Whatever may appear to be missing or broken on any particular day, our glass is not half full, it is 99.9% full. More practically, when we feel ungrateful, we become unhappy and stressed. When we choose to feel and express our gratitude, the act of feeling and speaking our thanks creates a happiness within us. The more we express our gratitude, the more we have for which to be grateful. 
 
 8. Make YOU your top priority: Your ONLY responsibility in life is to your own happiness. Lower your stress and raise your joy by focusing on yourself. Today and every day, take time to celebrate your life - whether an hour's meditation in a quiet natural space, or a brief moment's conscious pause to breathe deeply and celebrate gratitude for your life.</div></div>

Say NO to Stress: 8 Easy and Powerful Ways

Less Stress - More Joy - Making Healthy Choices - Jonathan Lockwood Huie Stress is to your emotional health as junk food is to your physi...

Affirmations of an Inspired Life - Young-Adult Version

<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: center;">Affirmations of an Inspired Life - Young-Adult Version </div> 
For the young adults in your life, this is a plain-spoken version of <a href="http://www.dancelightly.com/eight-points.htm">Eight Points of An Inspired Life - Keys to Happiness</a> 
  
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_McZSsMbe4ZY/S3KTXspNGrI/AAAAAAAACTk/btI5sokGaYE/s1600-h/46e03d9092f3b0fbe1b4de4bfc00c3e3e0053fb0.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_McZSsMbe4ZY/S3KTXspNGrI/AAAAAAAACTk/btI5sokGaYE/s320/46e03d9092f3b0fbe1b4de4bfc00c3e3e0053fb0.jpeg" width="320" /></a>1. I'm OK 
 
2. I've Always Been OK 
 
3. I Like Myself 
 
4. I Think For Myself 
 
5. I Have a Great Future 
 
6. I Can Do Anything 
 
7. This is Fun 
 
8. Thank God 
 
 </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> 
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> 
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> 
<div style="text-align: justify;">1. I'm OK - I'm alive and I have myself. My happiness does not depend on owning things, having money, or pleasing other people. 
 
2. I've Always Been OK - Whenever I have been unhappy, it was because I blamed someone else, or myself, for something that happened. As soon as I stop blaming, and start forgiving everyone - others and myself - for everything, I begin to feel better about my past. 
 
3. I Like Myself - I always do my best. Sometimes my best doesn't seem to be good enough, and I feel angry or afraid, or seem to have failed at what I tried. That's OK. My best is always good enough. I'm proud of myself and I like myself. 
 
4. I Think For Myself - I CHOOSE to lead a happier life by gathering all the facts and making my own decisions. I choose NOT to "follow the crowd," and I choose NOT to just do what my friends do without thinking for myself. 
 
5. I Have a Great Future - I welcome God into my mind and into my dreams. Whatever future I believe in, I can have, with God on my side. 
 
6. I Can Do Anything - Starting Right Now. I have my dream, I have God, and I choose to move in the direction of my goal, even when I am afraid or unsure. Whenever I fall, I stand up, brush myself off, and keep moving toward my goal. 
 
7. This is Fun - Life is like a party game. The rules of the game of life have never been clear, and they keep changing during the game. Forget winning or losing, and just have fun. 
 
8. Thank God - I thank God for everything, and I trust God with my life. </div></div>

Affirmations of an Inspired Life - Young-Adult Version

Affirmations of an Inspired Life - Young-Adult Version For the young adults in your life, this is a plain-spoken version of Eight Points o...

How to be Happy - 7 Secrets for a Happy Life

<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_McZSsMbe4ZY/S3KRPaL3kfI/AAAAAAAACTc/17EG2OSpzTg/s1600-h/osprey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_McZSsMbe4ZY/S3KRPaL3kfI/AAAAAAAACTc/17EG2OSpzTg/s320/osprey.jpg" /></a>7 Secrets for a Happy Life 
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
 
We all want to be happy, but something always gets in the way. There is never enough time... or money. Somebody is always failing to do what they are "supposed"  to do... or not do. Our boss, our spouse, our kids, our parents, our friends, government, big business, whoever... "They"  aren't doing it right. "They"  failed us. We are angry, and we have a right to be angry. But is that righteous anger making us happy? 
 </div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Happiness is not something anyone else can give us... or take away from us. Happiness is what we make of our lives... or don't. Whatever our circumstances, we can create a joyful life... or a miserable life. It is up to us. 
 
Here are 7 Secrets for a Happy Life 
 
1. Respect Yourself: If I don't love and respect myself, who will? It all starts right here with ME. If I think that I'm a pretty good person, it doesn't much matter what anyone else thinks. And the irony is that once I like myself, most everyone else will like me too. People enjoy being around people who speak well of themselves - not in an arrogant boastful way, but with honest self-appreciation. 
 
2. Forgive Everyone for Everything: Angry and happy don't mix. Flush out the angry, and the happy has a place to put down roots. Until we forgive everyone for everything, we hold on to anger and resentment. Once we forgive, we can become happy. Forgiving is not a gift to someone else - Forgiving is our gift to ourselves - a great gift - the gift of happiness. 
 
3. Be Grateful for All of Life: Each of us has been infinitely blessed - beginning with the gift of life. Whatever may appear to be missing or broken on any particular day, our glass is not half full, it is 99.9% full. More practically, when we feel ungrateful, we become unhappy. When we choose to feel and express our gratitude, the act of feeling and speaking our thanks creates a happiness within us. The more we express our gratitude, the more we have for which to be grateful. Today and every day, take time to celebrate life - whether an hour's meditation in a quiet natural space, or a brief moment's conscious pause to breathe deeply and celebrate gratitude for life. 
 
4. Choose Happiness: Everything in life is a choice. There is never anything we ever "need" to do. Every action and thought is a choice and has consequences - pleasant or unpleasant. Whether you go to work today, change jobs, smile at the bank teller, yell at your kids, complain about life, hold a daily celebration of gratitude for life - they are all choices. Happiness is a choice. Stay alert and make conscious choices for happiness. 
 
5. Begin at the End: You can never reach your destination if you don't have a destination. Decide what accomplishments you want recorded on your tombstone. Take a whole quiet day to consider your life. Be very clear that your happiness does NOT depend on reaching your goal. In fact, it's the reverse. Your happiness depends on accepting whatever life throws at you while you walk the path toward your goal. What is important for your happiness is having a goal, and working toward it. 
 
6. Start Today: Whatever you want in life, start today. Not tomorrow - today. Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning. Your happiness depends on starting today - every day. 
 
7. Accept that Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair": Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be. Demanding that life meet our expectations is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence. Life is a game with no rules. Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions. Our only path to happiness lies in being open to receiving whatever life throws at us - with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.</div>

How to be Happy - 7 Secrets for a Happy Life

7 Secrets for a Happy Life - Jonathan Lockwood Huie We all want to be happy, but something always gets in the way. There is never enough ...